If you're grown and can't appreciate Curtis Mayfield, I'm automatically lookin' at you sideways.

For those who don't know, I've got a regular gig deejayin' at a local bar. Nice place, I love it. This article is not about that. I'm speaking of certain folks who crack me up.


Seriously, I'm comin' out the bathroom at the gig, this guy looks bored just standing there looking at the pool table. I try to be nice to all the patrons, I'm a professional.
I say : "What can I play for you?" (When we're slow, I try to cultivate regulars. When business is rough, regulars are your bread & butter)
Curtis Mayfield was on. On slow nights, I have to cycle through eras, as we have a diverse customer base. I do 3-4 songs from an era, then change it up. Sometimes I linger too long in the 90s, sue me. I'm 36. This is both the most fun time for me and the most nightmarish. I can play a variety, which I love, but sometimes, whatever I play pisses SOMEBODY off. Please one, annoy another. That's just part of the game. I got to juggle all that, and keep smiling.


Back to this questionable dude: I was only about two cuts into the 70s, strictly cold-blooded SOUL music, no pop funk garbage. So I had just asked him what he wanted to hear - he acted like he didn't want to look me in the eye. I pivoted around in front of him. Anybody who acts like they're above responding to me when I speak WILL respond to ME. I asked again, "Seriously, whatcha' want me to throw on?"


"I dunno ---- ANYTHING but THIS!"

I said, "Seriously? You don't like old soul music?"  I mean, the dude was of drinking age, in a predominately Black bar. He says emphatically, "NOOO! I mean...(play) that LATEST."  

I mean, come Saturday night, if I get them pretty young girls dancin', mission accomplished. I know that when they come out on a Saturday night mission, they don't want to hear Miles Davis & Gil Scott Heron, they want to DANCE. I understand and even EMBRACE this. You can't dance to "deep" music (P-Funk excepted). 

But this night, it was a sausage FEST off in there. Why you wanna hear dance music, dog? Make no mistake, "LATEST" means "URBAN CHARTS."

The music on the "URBAN CHARTS" is created FOR and aimed SQUARELY AT teenage girls!!!  This is COMMON KNOWLEDGE, and indisputable FACT. It's simply applied science & economics. Before you disagree, gain even slight knowledge first before you call me a hater :

                                                        

                                        Psychology of Pop Music

I understand the ladies dancing to it, they go NUTS over, and sing along with, any line in the song about being young. You do the math. I understand the fellas expecting me to play it on the weekend, they want to get out there and throw the moves on them ladies! Believe me, I do my part to make this happen! 

But when there ain't no shade of pussy in sight, and you want to hear "THAT LATEST?"

AND

THEN

AGAIN!!!!

Let me pause myself right here. If this dude wasn't trying to act hard to me, we wouldn't be having this discussion. I have NO PROBLEM with ANYONE, except phonies. Your actions subliminally reveal your heart. Shit, we got this one regular, so feminine, that I thought he WAS a lady the first time he made a request. I got no problem with any of that stuff, it simply doesn't affect me. I play Drake & Niki Manaj for that dude, no problem. He's real about who he is.    $.02

The "Prison" origin of "saggy" pants is an urban MYTH.

A simple look at the history of hiphop and its incredible influence on world culture reveals the TRUE origin of the loose-fitting pants phenomenon. 

RUN DMC, as did pretty much all early hiphop artists, wore standard-fit for the time (tight) jeans. Melle Mel & them had tight leather. At some point, rap turned from its positive roots to gangster music. Not the whole genre, to be sure, but "gangsta" rap's influence on the hiphop culture was undeniable. This spawned an entire generation of rap artists who were either wannabe gangsters, or at least wanted to give a nod to gangstas in an attempt to stay relevant. Either way, real gangsters influenced rap artists, and rap has DICTATED fashion for the last 25 years, buddy, in case you've never seen young people.


Gangsters adopted loose-fitting khakis for a simple reason: to conceal weapons. My P11 fits in the pocket of size 42 pants niceley. Throw on a 3XL tee shirt and I can walk to the convenient store carrying without even a bulge. If I throw on my size 46 pants, I can conceal a Ruger P95 in the same fashion. Much bigger clip.


Rappers wanted to be gangsters, and everybody wanted to be rappers. Thus a fashion trend that's 25 years old now was born.


The other supposed origin of the fashion is a seperate phenomenon. For those of you who don't know, white people who secretly loathe rap and all things black, are quick to spout that the origin of the look is from prison, where "available" inmates would wear their jail suit down below their booty, to signify their status as a prison bitch. I cannot personally verify that that this occurred or still does, as I've never been in prison, but I can say with complete confidence that prison trends DO NOT influence popular culture for the most part (except for those idiots who have tattoo tears and were never inside). Kids DID NOT start wearing their pants low to give a nod to the prison bitch culture, I assure you. If you look at the bigger picture, you can easily see how DAFT this assumption was, so LET'S PUT IT TO BED RIGHT NOW. 


$.02

FUCK SERATO AND PRO TOOLS

PFFT AT ALL THESE "I USE INDUSTRY STANDARD BLAH BLAH" CATS. ONLY PRO TOOLS HD SETUPS SOUND BETTER THAN ME--WITH MY USED 1010 I PAID $190 FOR AND SONAR PRODUCER. EVEN IF I COULD AFFORD A $4000 SOUNDCARD, I WOULDN'T DO IT BECAUSE YOU CAN'T POLISH A TURD...... I BOUGHT THE 1010 BACK WHEN PRO TOOLS WAS HARDWARE EXCLUSIVE, BECAUSE I WANTED TO TRY PT OUT.... THE M-AUDIO 1010 IS GREAT, PRO TOOLS SUCK. SONAR STOMPS IT, POINT BLANK. AD ME TO THE EQUATION AND YOU'VE GOT THE BEST ENGINEERING GOING ON IN THE TRI-STATE AREA. WHY WOULD I SACRIFICE FEATURES TO BE INDUSTRY-STANDARD COMPLIANT. IF ANYBODY WHO USES PRO TOOLS CAN'T MAKE A PROJECT FILE OUT OF THE CRISP WAVE FILES SONAR RENDERS, THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE ENTRY-LEVEL MIXING SKILLS. THE MORAL OF THIS STORY: JUST BECAUSE SOULJAH BOY SUCKS DOESN'T MEAN FRUITY LOOPS DOES! -EXIBIT A: THIS SONG WAS A ROUGH MIX, TOUCHED IT UP DURING THE FIRST PLAYBACK AFTER RECORDING, HERE IT IS, AS-IS..

BADMAN II, by Hotwangz & Cognac ft. Big Jun Da Boss

jjaybo.bandcamp.com

FROM THE FACEBOOK ARCHIVES: STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO

LOOK: If you haven't had more success, recognition or experience than me in music, then you can't tell me spit. That's like a blind man giving painting lessons. If Jeremy Armstrong, Necro, or Bootsy Collins tell me something, I STFU and listen humbly to those greater than myself. Otherwise keep that crap to yourself or get the hell from my presence. Non-musicians don't see that crap for what it is: the ultimate disrespect. I don't need to beg for fans, real heads already get it. I don't do music for money, so if you don't understand that-go ahead and watch American Idolatry with all the other sheep.

FROM THE FACEBOOK ARCHIVES: Why St. Patrick's Day is RACIST.

Here's why St. Patrick's day is EVIL: It reduces my people's culture to drunken buffoonery, as if that's all there is about our rich culture, and celebrates an ENGLISH MAN sent to DESTROY our culture. I heard a sheep say: "St. Patrick SAVED the Irish people." I don't call cultural GENOCIDE being saved. Did you know we had our own language and religion, before we were FORCED to speak English and practice Christianity? Punishable by DEATH. I love Jesus, but I do so of my own free will. F--K "Saint" Patrick's day and ESPECIALLY F--K EVERYBODY who celebrates it. Problem with that? Come see me. This is the only holiday that I'm aware of that is COMPLETELY racist.

FROM THE FACEBOOK ARCHIVES: Fox's attack on rap music is un-American.

If you don't see that Fox's take on Common is RETARDED, let me know in my presence and I'll be happy to slap the shit out of you! The words quoted were taken out of context, many of us rappers do a song or two as a different character. That character almost always DIES as a result of the lifestyle he brags about- but, see? This level of ART (which ain't all that high, really) is incomprehensible to Fox if it's coming from a BLACK artist, plain and simple! Johnny Cash sang ; "Early one mornin' while makin' the rounds/I took a shot of cocaine and I shot my woman down" and Fox was fine with HIM visiting the whitehouse! Clear double standard. I stand with Common. He's one of the most positive MUSICIANS of ANY genre ever, this is informed fact. If you disagree, you are uninformed. And as far as Assata Shakur, she did the same thing the PILGRIMS did. Police opress & murder black people TODAY, imagine back in the 60's? If anyone threatened my family, I'd fight back too. That's the problem with the neocon propaganda machine-it passes judgement about people and situations it will NEVER understand, because frankly conservatives are THAT far removed from reality. The next time I hear a suburbanite say "those people," it's ON.

If I'm a wannabe, you're a COWARD.

I've been called a wannabe my entire life by people not brave enough to do what the f8ck they feel, like I do! The hilarious thing is it's NEVER been true. I've ALWAYS just done whatever I wanted to. Other peoples' take on my "authenticity" has never been accurate or relevant, I do what I want, and excel at whatever I put my giant evil hands on. Respect does not define me, but the people whos respect DOES matter to me, DO! All my heroes know who the f8ck I am. Anybody with a brain and eyes knows I'm doing my dang thing-just like I always did.

LOL HATERS